Friday, January 6, 2012

Whew! This Post Is Rated "G"

For "Genos" content. Genos, with a hard "g", is Greek for family.

Yesterday I wrote an "R" rated post. R for Real. I recounted the day I had yesterday and a not-so-pretty episode at a meeting. I really wasn't looking, at the time, for commiseration or support. I actually wrote with three objectives in mind:

1. I wanted to say, "This stuff happens, to me, to you. It's going to be OK. We all have these fears and feelings and they can come out of nowhere and when it happens to you, you aren't crazy or anything else. You're 'normal' living with an abnormal disease and this is how it can manifest." Look real hard and you won't see that spelled out like that anywhere in the post, but this is something I wanted to convey.

2. I wanted to say, "People without cancer in general, or melanoma in particular, when you see someone say or do something completely out of character and maybe inappropriate like I did and said, consider that maybe, just maybe, something's going on with them and they're out of control because they're living with something they're hiding and haven't faced. Especially if you happen to know they're dealing with some form of cancer. Cut them some slack and reach out and ask, 'Are you OK'" Look real hard and you won't see that spelled out like that anywhere in the post, but this is something I wanted to convey.

3. I wanted to say, "We're all in this together and I knew you'd understand and maybe knowing I had this kind of day will help you when you have this kind of day. You aren't alone." Look real hard and you won't see that spelled out like that anywhere in the post either, but this is something I wanted to convey.

Those were my objectives. The results surprised me.

I received commiseration and support. I received the OK to have these common fears. I was told prayers were being said for me. I was told, "It's OK preacher." I was given thanks for being real. What wasn't supposed to be about "me," was indeed, about me. The proverbial shoe was slipped on the other foot, and you know what? After I got over the surprise of the responses, it felt good. Great to be more accurate. OK, let's go for overwhelming.

I wrote a post to people I knew would understand and see themselves and hopefully help them and help those who love them understand them better. I hadn't talked to my flesh and blood family first, but my flesh and blood daughter saw it and called, not sure of what to say. My son heard that phone call and we've had our own talks. When my husband came home, I talked with him about my day and fears before he heard it from one of our children.

Talking openly and honestly with my cyberfamily opened the doors for me to talk open and honestly with my flesh and blood family. And I received much needed support from both families and it wasn't until I received that I realized how much I needed to. I needed a blessing, didn't know it, and am very grateful everyone else totally misunderstood what I thought I was writing yesterday!

I don't write this today so everyone will rush to my side with even more support. Actually, I'm the kind of person that I hope you don't. What I want you to take from this, and I'll be really clear this time and spell it out:

YOUR FEARS AND FEELINGS ARE NORMAL!
WE ALL, IN MELAWORLD, HAVE THEM!
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
TALK TO YOUR FAMILY ABOUT YOUR FEARS AND FEELINGS!
THEY WILL NOT KNOW UNLESS YOU TELL THEM!
IF YOU DO NOT TELL THEM, THEN DON'T GET ANGRY, FRUSTRATED, IRRITATED, ETC, WITH  THEM WHEN THEY DO NOT GIVE YOU THE SUPPORT YOU NEED!
YOU ARE SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE WHO CARE AND WANT TO UNDERSTAND!
YOU LIVE WITH SOME AND SOME ARE IN CYBERSPACE: TALK TO US, USE US, LET US GIVE YOU SUPPORT; IT WILL FEEL GOOD!
WE ARE FAMILY!

And I am grateful.