Monday, April 9, 2012

Dear God, Didn't You Hear Me?

Dear God,

I'm tired.

I'm tired of death and corruption. I'm tired of cancers in general, and melanoma in particular. I'm tired of people getting diagnosed and being hurled into this world I know all too well. Oh, and by the way God, what were You thinking by plunging me in like You have?

I'm tired of people trying to hold on to this life You've given them by having to almost kill themselves first with toxic treatments to kill the beast. Or at least get him stable. Can You shrink this monster, please? I know You can, so why don't You do it once and for all? Huh, God? I'm tired of praying for this over and over and over.

Didn't you hear me the first time? I mean, really God, this is getting ridiculous! Aren't You getting tired, too, of the carnage? Of people dying way too young and way too horribly? Aren't You getting tired of heaven filling up with people who shouldn't be there yet? Aren't You getting tired of drying our eyes and soothing our soothe-less souls? Aren't You tired of melanoma running loose and causing so much devastation in the lives of Your children? You have to be! If I'm tired, and I'm just me, You have to be sick of it because You're God for crying out loud!

Aren't You tired of watching Your children suffer? We're all made in Your holy image. Aren't You starting to get weary of Your image being tarnished by cancer? I mean really, God! This has been going on a long, long time now! Isn't it time to shut cancer down? Isn't it time to give research for all cancers a huge shot in the arm so they can pronounce cancer "dead"?

Isn't it time to shut people like me up? So, what do You say, God? Huh? You don't seem to be listening to all the prayers going up for Your children who battle. If You were, we wouldn't have the numbers of people dying like we do. O God, for once, will You listen to my prayer?! Will You do this my way? For once? Please?



We've been through this before. Didn't you get it the first time around? Are you so thick that I must repeat myself? I don't bring cancer. I don't give anyone cancer. Cancer is part of a fallen world.

I'm at work in the midst of it and in my children who suffer working good for their souls. Amid the horrors, I'm working good. Amid the ugly, I'm bringing forth beauty. Amid the weak, I'm revealing strength. Amid the storms, I'm bringing peace. Amid the division, I'm bringing unity. Amid the darkness, I'm shining a Light. Amid the hopelessness, I'm offering Hope. Amid the helplessness, I'm offering Help beyond measure. Amid the faithless, I'm offering a faith to cling to when there doesn't seem to be anything else to cling to...cling to Me. Amid those who are deserted and feel alone in this, I'm offering Love like none other. Amid the dying, I offer Life in abundance.

I've got this! Be thankful I'm not doing this your way. Your way would heal bodies but leave souls devastated. Your way would not work to bring my children closer to me. Your way would drive them further away because they would depend on what they can see and take...not depend on Me.

I love my children, each of them, with a Love you can rely on and trust but you cannot fully give or understand. I really do see a bigger picture that You cannot see. That is by design. You aren't meant to see it. You're meant to accept your place in my painting and let me shine My Light through you. You have no light to shine through me. Let's get the order right. Me then you. Not you then Me.

I've got this. My way. My timing. I hold the seasons and I hold my children.

All you have to do is rest in the knowledge that it's not up to you; it's up to Me.

Now, go and...

Be grateful!