Bringing Goliath Out of Hiding

(To set the stage for this, go back and read the preceding post if you haven't already).

The Goliath that young David faced was towering over his face and not merely in his face, out in the open and, definitely, not hiding anywhere! And David's Goliath arrived on the scene first. So, while we have to take a break from the story and can only press the David and Goliath analogy but so far--since our Goliaths are rarely human, there are principles we can apply when it comes to bringing down those larger than life obstacles we face.

The first thing we have to do is admit we have a Goliath that has taken up residence in our life. Often we humans try to hide our Goliaths and pretend they don't exist. We try to relegate them to the basement or cram them in the attic and pray they stay still and quiet so the neighbors don't learn of their existence. Let's be honest. Often, we're ashamed of Goliath and our obstacle makes us feel like a failure. Some Goliaths force us to admit our bodies aren't as strong as we thought they were or maybe we've made some wrong choices that have now caught up with us. We hide Goliath because his presence makes us feel "less than." Much "less than." And the longer we hide Goliath and don't deal with him, the more it feels like he has become a permanent resident instead of being a temporary tenant like he really is. Remember: many of our obstacles are temporary...job loss, many health conditions (even those that will be lifetime but can be treated), homelessness, financial setback, etc. There are, likewise, obstacles that will need to be faced on a regular basis the rest of our lives, so while we can't change the obstacle itself, we can change our attitude towards it. We can change how we deal with it...we can bring it out of hiding and when we do, we will find that there are many, many people and families dealing with the same thing. We aren't alone. There's a vast ocean of experience out there and people will help us. But they have to know we need them.

Also remember: what's "out of sight" to others, is never out of our minds...nor out of our own field of vision either. Truth be told, our neighbors have probably heard about our new "tenant" living in our basement--somebody besides our immediate family knows--so we really aren't fooling anybody.

Goliaths aren't meant to be hidden. And the fact of the matter is, they can't be dealt with and conquered when we try to hide them from others. We cut ourselves off from the support we need to face them. We cut ourselves off from advice and other ears to bounce things off of.

It's not pretty when we face Goliath, though. We may be all alone in the initial confrontation. Like David was against Goliath. Oh, yeah, David had the king, three older brothers, and the rest of the Israelite army behind him...way behind him. Shaking, quaking, and scared, thinking the unarmored David was some kind of little fool and they were probably already planning the guy's funeral.

And there was ugly name calling on Goliath's part. He did his level best to intimidate David. The thought of killing a young boy didn't bother him a bit. Get that little punk out of his way and the Philistines could then enslave the Israelites.

We read in 1 Samuel 17: 16 that twice a day for forty days, Goliath had taunted and threatened the Israelite army. For forty days, the Israelite army refused to deal with this huge obstacle. They lost all sight of being God's chosen people and part of His army. They forgot Who would go out and battle for them if they had just one man willing to step out in faith. They, in essence, "hid" from their Goliath by refusing to deal with him.

And Goliath didn't go away.

Until David arrived on the scene. David wasn't blind. He saw how big this giant was. He saw how he was decked out in armor and the weapons he had. He heard the threats and he knew Goliath was quite capable of carrying them out. He saw. He heard. He came. He faced. God conquered.

Goliath was temporary.

We aren't told how many years he had been a big, mean, nasty, threatening giant. Maybe decades. In the end, he was temporary.

God is still God and He isn't going anywhere.

But it took someone to come along who was willing to meet Goliath face-to-face and deal with him. God's way.

And you know what? Remember how the story ends? When the Philistines saw Goliath was dead, they turned and ran! Then the Israelite army gained courage and strength and shouted in triumph and rushed after them! There was still much fighting to be done to win that final victory, but seeing Goliath dead bolstered the Israelites and gave them a previously unknown momentum, and at the same time, it totally withered the zeal of the Philistines.

That's how it works. Knock down our biggest obstacle and we can deal with the smaller ones until they, too, are managed or even defeated. Bring it out in the open and deal with it, even if we feel alone at first, and usually others will rush to our aid when they see us out there trying, and winning.

It wasn't easy. There was strategy. It took time. There was carnage. It was a battle. But there had to be a battle for there to be victory. And there had to be a confrontation for there to be a battle. And Goliath had to be faced in order for that confrontation to take place.

And for young, little, seemingly unarmed David to win, there had to be Power far greater than anything any eye on that battlefield that day could see.

I Am was on that field and fighting for David. And I Am will join us on our battlefields and empower us to face our obstacles and enable us to conquer them just like he did David so long ago. God hasn't gone anywhere. Have you?

I'll deal with David and other players in this story in future posts in this series. But for now, find hope in knowing that any obstacle you're dealing with can definitely be brought down to size and either managed or defeated, depending exactly on what that obstacle is. But it CAN be knocked down to where you can deal with it.

But first that means, going to the basement and bringing it up or going to the attic and getting it down. Get it out in the open. Seek God's face. Go where He sends and fight according to His battle plan. When He leads you to human counsel, reach out and open up. You'll be surprised at the people God has already put in place to help you. But they don't know your need and aren't going to seek you out first. You've got to be the one to make that connection.

The obstacles you face, that I face, are just that obstacles. They can be moved and removed. But first they have to be faced and dealt with. Otherwise, they aren't gong anywhere.

The choice is ours. Be Goliath's victim or be victorious over Goliath. So, what's it going to be?

I choose to learn some lessons from David, I don't do "victim" very well, and that will be coming up next.

Take heart and take courage! Obstacles are temporary. God and hope are eternal.

Until next time.

charis

David and Goliath, the Psalms, and Catastrophe

I'm feeling a need here to do something a little different and instead of starting a whole other blog, I'm going to do it on this blog-site and explain it with this post.

I recently had a conversation, with a melahomey, that drew heavily on David and Goliath. This person saw a future sermon series in it for me. Maybe. But I also see blogs about it. In addition to the David and Goliath story, I have come to see the Psalms in a whole new way since melanoma entered my life and feel a need to incorporate them into this. But David and Goliath and the Psalms don't just apply to melanoma, they apply to all of life's catastrophes.

So I'm going to spend a while looking at the story and then the Psalms as applied to life's catastrophic times. Everything can be expanded upon and I'm sure readers will have their own insights, but to get that ball rolling...here's 1 Samuel 17 (home of the David and Goliath story) from the New Living Translation. This particular site, biblegateway, offers many translations, including two Jewish ones and various languages.

Few of us will face human giants that loom over us like Goliath did the young David, but we all face giants in life...obstacles that loom large and seem insurmountable. We may live most of our life before facing one, or we may face them on a regular basis, but make no mistake...we will ALL face a Goliath in our life. It may be disease/illness like cancer, mine's melanoma. It may be abuse, a financial crisis, job loss, homelessness, a relationship disaster, death and grief, addiction of any kind, a legal dilemma, aging, and the list goes on. Our Goliaths will each look different, but they will have some commonalities.

They will be bigger than us. They will look down on us and taunt us. They will make us feel helpless and hopeless. They will seek to drive a wedge between us and God. They are mean and ugly; they can have violent tendencies; they come at us with everything they've got and they mean to destroy us; they don't care about our age or anything else; they don't care if we're alone or have an "army," a lot of people, behind us because a "Goliath" seems bigger than anything we've got going for us; they're intimidating; they bring weapons with them (challenges and issues); they're decked out in "armor" and seem impenetrable; and...

They ALL have an exposed spot...an Achilles' heel. The Goliaths, the giants in our life, ALL have a soft spot and they CAN be brought down to size. Not only can they be brought down to size, but they can find themselves under our feet and ultimately defeated. Just remember, David didn't render Goliath powerless and kill him on his own or through his own strength and power. And we won't either.

We have to learn to look at our Goliaths like David looked at Goliath and not the way the Israelite army looked at Big G. We often look at life's giants and see these obstacles that we cannot overcome. We need to realize that what are obstacles to us, are not obstacles to God.

We need to invoke the system young David had in place when he faced a human giant: Goliath looks down on us; we look up, and beyond, Goliath to God; and God looks down on Goliath.

There's not a Goliath on the face of this planet that can stand up under that!

Future posts will look at Goliath, David, God's role in this, the Israelite army and Saul, adapting this for us in facing our giants, and individual Psalms.

For now know that there is hope as you look at the giants in your life. Maybe this little post is already opening your eyes to that.

My prayer is that God keep opening your eyes and heart to what He is doing and has done to slay the Goliath you face and to give you victory!

charis

friends say melanoma is no big deal

"friends say melanoma is no big deal" AND "friends don't understand your melanoma" are search terms that led someone to this blog today.

And my heart breaks. I'm seeing these same sentiments over and over in Melanoma Land. That would be on Facebook and the greater Internet. In groups and on sites. It makes me angry, too.

People, as a rule, don't get this disease until they get it. And make no mistake about it, our numbers are growing in ALL demographics, worldwide. People ARE getting it, but by then, it's too late for them to yank those words back and they are forced to understand melanoma from a whole new perspective. From the perspective of the one with instead of as the one belittling. I dare say most of us, myself included, didn't truly understand this disease until we got it either.

Let me tell you: It IS a big deal! A HUGE deal. An in-your-face-let's-talk-life-and-death deal. A scary deal. It is not, however, a deal without hope. Hope abounds because God is very present and our Help in this storm. And God is throwing out a lot of lifelines for us. There are more treatment options now than ever before that are showing very real promise. But they are still few and limited in number. And, not every option will help everyone. But we do have people, even with stage 4 brain mets, who are living better and longer than ever before. Things are starting to really look up in our world.We are a very hopeful and hope-filled people. However, melanoma is still a storm and for many, too many, it is a tsunami. This is a big deal and it needs to be understood.

The problem is that most people equate "melanoma" with skin cancer. They think it can just be cut out, stitched up, and life continues to sail along.Well. It doesn't. People with any kind of skin cancer will tell you that skin cancer IS cancer and those cancers, when they are cut out and stitched up, leave scars. They are disfiguring and emotionally scarring. Basal cell is very rarely fatal and squamous cell will kill over 2500 people in the USA alone this year. That's a big deal.

Now let me tell you about melanoma. I want it removed from the skin cancer category because it is so much, much more. It does not need skin to begin, grow, or spread in. Just because we hear tell of "moles" and "skin" the most, don't get deluded into thinking that's all you have to watch for: changing moles. That proves deadly.

Melanoma can literally begin ANY place in OR on your body that you can name except for your teeth and your hair. Start naming places. Eyes...check. Ocular melanoma. Mouth...check. Oral melanoma. Any organ. Any body part. Bones. Nose. Nail beds. Rectum. Vagina. It can travel through lymph nodes AND the bloodstream. It can be aggressive from the get-go or it can dormant a while and then kick into gear. It does what it wants, when it wants, and goes where it wants. It has no MO. None. Zilch. Nada.

Let me tell you something else...for those of you with friends who have had stage 0 (in situ) and stage 1 melanomas removed and you tell them it's no big deal. Their melanoma can come roaring back stage 4 in a matter of months...or never. They, like the rest of us higher staged people (I'm 3b), never know what our own melanoma will do until it does it. Those of us who are in the stage 3 and 4 range, as a rule, have access to periodic scans (depending on the doctor, facility, etc). SOME at stage 2 will be scanned. People at 0 and 1 don't get scans...OK, rarely...some do. Most don't. And let's face it, scans are no guarantee that a renegade cell, or tumor, will be caught. Many have clean scans one day and new tumor growth in a matter of weeks.

People really, really need to wake up to the truths about this disease, melanoma. It's not only melahomies in the 0-1 stages who get this "roll your eyes and yawn" reaction from people. It's people at all stages. Usually we look good. We smile. We're upbeat. We go to work or school, raise our families; from outward appearances we look like we're coping. Our emotions can be a whole other story. We usually don't choose to open up to the world, but when we do open up and share about our disease and where we are, a little compassion is called for. If you don't know what melanoma is, then ask. If you think it's "skin cancer" and no big deal...at least hear the word cancer and say "I'm sorry."

If the best you can do is some fake platitude then shut up and don't say anything. Don't tell someone it's no big deal. Don't say "oh, skin cancer." Don't say "you'll be OK." Don't say "get a grip."

Learn about this disease. Especially if you've ever been to a tanning bed. Especially if you've ever had even one sunburn. Especially if you have a family history of any kind of skin cancer or melanoma. Especially if you already have cancer, of any kind, in your medical history. Especially if you have a body of any age or either gender. Race and ethnicity offer no protection.

Melanoma is THE fastest growing cancer there is and there is no cure. Don't think this disease only happens to other people. YOU are "other people" to everybody on the face of this planet except to yourself.

Those of us who already inhabit Melanoma Land want our numbers to go down, but frankly, that will take a while. They will continue to rise for years to come. For one, most people aren't listening to us about the dangers of tanning beds and unsafe sun practices. Too many people still are not having annual skin checks. And, even if all dangerous practices ceased today, the damage that has been done is permanent and people will continue to be diagnosed with melanoma decades later. It happens every day. I was diagnosed decades after my last sunburn.

Melanoma is such a big deal that MD Anderson has a melanoma moon shot and Stand Up 2 Cancer has a melanoma dream team. Nothing says "big deal" like shooting to the moon and a dream team!

Melanoma no big deal? Every single day, around the clock, in the USA alone, 25 people die from it. Those numbers are up from last year and they'll be even higher next year. This year, in the USA alone, over 135,000 people will be diagnosed with melanoma and that includes those in situ. The more common number of diagnoses (76,690) we see doesn't include in situ (stage 0) but it should, every diagnosis counts.

Don't understand melanoma? Check out these trusted sites and learn more:
Aim at Melanoma

Melanoma Research Foundation 

The Skin Cancer Foundation

American Academy of Dermatology

Your friends with this disease need understanding. They aren't looking for the moon, just an ear. They aren't asking for a lot, just hope and to know you care. They need you to understand this diagnosis, at any stage, IS a big deal.

And I need you to understand it can happen to you and it can strike your family and chances are very good that it will. So please, read up on it, stop any damaging/deadly practices you're engaged in, get annual scalp-to-toe skin checks, and be proactive. Do a blog-site search here for melanoma and read to your heart's content. At the very least, if your attitude towards melanoma is "no biggie," then get an attitude adjustment. Seriously. No annoying smiley face.

That attitude adjustment may just save your life or the life of one you love.

That's a big deal and needs to be understood.

charis

The Significance of June 2, 2013...Survivors

Not every marriage celebrates 57 years of wedded surviving. My parents, George and Bettie, will mark this milestone tomorrow, June 2, 2013. I know people have the tendency to think in terms of "wedded bliss," but after 57 years I might as well be honest. It hasn't all been blissful. But it has been doable and survivable. They have shared rearing my brother and I to adulthood. Seen him get through his crack addiction, and seen me get through two melanoma surgeries and maintain at stage 3b for almost five years. They've survived deaths of siblings, parents, and nieces and nephews.

Mama looked at Daddy the other day when we were talking about their anniversary and said, "When you said 'I do,' you did." That sums it up pretty accurately. And she put oomph behind her "I dos" as well. They did what they had to do. They did much they wanted to do. They muddled through other stuff. They've been human. They've been superhuman. They're both 82 right now and as Dr. Seuss would say, "They're in good shape for the shape they're in." Mighty good shape.

After 57 years, I can say with absolute certainty that they're going to make it!

Speaking of me and NED holding hands for almost five years now as stage 3b melanoma has had to watch...tomorrow is National Cancer Survivors Day. Until I knew this, I had not dared, or dreamed, to think of myself as a "cancer survivor." Especially not as a "melanoma survivor" since there is no cure. But as I near the halfway mark of my ten year stat, I don't feel like a patient anymore. I feel like a survivor and I like that. I need that.

I know the disease I live with. I know it can rear its ugly head any time and I can be dead by this time next year. I know. But right now, NED and I are tight and mel is keeping quiet. And because I made the decisions that were right for me, I'm physically in a good place right now. Oh, my emotions and attirude can be like that of any of us with melanoma, but physically I better now than I've been in a long while. I, too, am in good shape for the shape I'm in.

After almost 5 years with NED I can say I've been blessed, and whether I continue to make it or not, I'm a survivor.

At some point, because I'm human, melanoma or something else, will try to change that. But I'll always outlast melanoma or whatever ultimately takes me away from this earth. It may cause my death. It will not follow me into Life.

I'll always survive.

And I'll always be grateful.

charis

A Short Guide For Parents To Get Through The Preteen-Teenage Years

Yesterday I reran this favorite post of mine about how fast time flies.

It doesn't seem to fly by fast though when we're living those days with preteens and teens in the house, so I think it's time for me to pass along my 20/20 hindsight wisdom to parents who are living these years now. I've seen a daughter and a son through them. She is now 31 and he is 22. Obviously, I let them live.

1. Remember your parents let you live through your preteen and teenage years. I wasn't easy and I bet you weren't either. We all have our moments. This, too, shall pass. Really. No fooling.

2. Decide to let your children live. It may seeeeem like she's been 11 for 20 years, but she really hasn't. It's been more like 30. (See. You CAN still smile!)

3. Yes, I know these years are full of trying to be King/Queen of the Hill. Temper tantrums. Tears. Slamming doors. "You can't make mes". Grabbing the car keys and screeching out of the driveway. Calm down. You're an adult and too big to keep doing that. (Smiled again, huh?) Seriously though, focus on the good in your child and not so much on the difficult. It's really there. Promise. These aren't easy years on your child either. Growing up is hard.

4. So help your child grow up instead of trying to balk at nature. YOU grew up. You couldn't, and didn't, stay the baby your parents wished you could stay. Your child has to grow up too and mature. It's not an easy process and that instruction manual you're wishing for doesn't exist. And if you have more than one child...guess what...they'll each be different! Scream now at that thought and get it our of your system.

5. Don't be afraid of your child. Stick to the rules that need sticking to and relax the ones that can be relaxed and throw out the ones that need throwing out. Pick your battles so your home doesn't become a war zone. There really are things that are NOT worth fighting over. Ask yourself, "Is this going to really make a hill of beans worth of difference in five minutes or tomorrow?" If not, let it go.

6. Let your child make mistakes and don't rush in to fix them. Let your child suffer the consequences. If he or she is on the team or in the band and doesn't listen to the coach/leader and has to sit out a game or concert, don't go talk to the coach/leader. Talk to your child. If your child earned that "D" or "F"...accept it even if it's showing up on a transcript. That's part of the adult world that your child is moving into. Teach your child how to be part of the adult world and work within it. Don't teach them that a good pout will send mommy or daddy rushing into "fix" their messes.

7. Love your child through this season and laugh with him or her as much as you can. There is much to love and much laughter to share. Talk with your child not AT your child as much as you can.

8. Remember this, too, shall pass. All of it. One day you really will look back on these days and smile and you'll be proud of the young adult that you navigated through these times. These days can seem to drag on forever, but the day will come, I promise, when you'll look back and see how fast they flew by.

9. And that's where I began this post. The most important thing you can do, through all of this, is pray for your child. Every day, pray. Pray for yourself. Pray for the other parent, whether you're married or divorced, pray for the adults that have input into your child's life. And pray for everyone else that has input into your child's life, even that friend of theirs that drives you nuts. Pray for them.

Pray, love, laugh, discipline, let go.

This child really is a blessing. Never let go of that thought.

And be grateful.

Can We Rally Around A Symbol, Melanoma Community?

May, Melanoma Awareness Month, is half over and already it has been a learning experience. Which I don't mind as I like to learn. It's what I've learned that bothers me and prompts this post.

What I've learned is that there really is no one officially recognized color that we in melanoma world can embrace as our own. Many of us claim black and it fits. It's even inherent in the very word itself. Melanoma means "black tumor."

But...not everyone, person with melanoma or organization dealing with melanoma, rallies around black. The American Academy of Dermatology launched its Spot Orange Campaign this year and asked people to wear orange on Melanoma Monday. They claim May for Skin Cancer Awareness and give melanoma the first Monday in May. Orange didn't go over well with many of us in the melanoma community.

Hotel Melanoma posted on Melanoma Research Foundation's Facebook wall about it and MRF responded with, "We've seen this question come up a lot recently, as you can imagine. It is our understanding that the American Academy of Dermatology was looking for a symbol to help raise awareness of all skin cancers, and didn't feel they could use black—the color most often used for melanoma. We have actually had a lot of complaints from the melanoma community about the color black, since it is often associated with death. It might be worth noting that for years the Melanoma International Foundation has used a bright green for their color in raising melanoma awareness. And, when Bristol Myers Squibb launched their Melanoma Exposed campaign last year they chose an olive green for their color. We understand the feelings of all members of the melanoma community. AAD's use of orange this month has spurred a great deal of conversation and that has helped raise awareness about melanoma and the use of black throughout the melanoma community. At the end of the day, anything that helps raise awareness is a good thing. Thanks for asking!" (red mine to make what I consider pertinent to this post stand out)

So, the AAD chooses orange (which is quite a tasteless color for SKIN CANCER and MELANOMA!), the MIF likes bright green, and then there's olive green associated with a company's campaign. Within the melanoma community, I've noticed a few groups that choose particular colors for their own group. 

But what really bothers me is often folks don't realize that this fracture makes a difference. I've seen many comments like the MRF ended the above copy/paste with. The idea that awareness is awareness and it's all good and what difference does a color make as long as there's awareness. 

But color does make a difference. It's a symbol for people to rally around. People don't rally around words the same way we do a symbol.

Take the most famous awareness campaign of all time, Breast Cancer Awareness. They staked out "pink," nobody dared challenge "pink," and "pink" it is to this day. And pink grows every year. It is so associated with BCA that all that is needed now on a product is a pink ribbon and we know. We know. We used to see pink and think of a little girl. No more. Pink Nation has done that good a job with color recognition.

People and organizations in the world of melanoma, it will help us a great deal if we can come together and agree on a color as our symbol and make that color ribbon ours. If people can come to recognize a black ribbon as melanoma awareness that will be huge and a great open door for us to keep talking. Yes, I'm assuming "black." But we need to stand united behind a color and work, together, to get our color recognized and make that part of our awareness and education package.

Where would BCA be today if a handful of colors could stand for BCA? Probably in a boat similar to ours. Where can we be in several years if we unite around a common color? Probably in a boat similar to theirs. I like their boat. And I want to paint it black.

Symbols and words go hand in hand in our culture and often it's the symbol that catches the attention first and opens the door for words to be heard. Often symbol and picture speak louder than words. A black ribbon stands for melanoma awareness just as surely as a pink ribbon stands for breast cancer awareness.

Or does it? Only if we lay aside other colors and stand behind black and make black the one and only face of melanoma. It works for pink.

Something to think about as we move forward.

charis

Class of 2008, Baccalaureate, May 29

The following is the Baccalaureate speech I gave to the 2008 Class at Ridgecoft School on May 29 of that year. Feeling the need to put it out there:

Good evening Ridgecroft faculty and staff, parents, family, friends, and you, the Class of 2008.  It’s an honor to be speaking tonight at this auspicious occasion, along with Rev. Greg Barrick.  Congratulations to you, the Class of 2008!

As I prepared for tonight I thought back to when I was 17, 18.  What would I have wanted my Baccalaureate speaker to say that I didn’t already know?  That would have been a non-existent speech, because at 17 and 18, I already knew everything.  But if there HAD to be a speech, I’d want them at least to tell me the truth and speak to me as an adult!  Well, tonight there HAVE to be speeches, two in fact.  So I’m going to talk to you like adults and tell you the truth about some things.  Listen up!

Show of hands:  how many of you know, right now, exactly what you’re going to do with your life after graduation? You’ve got your plans for your future mapped out and you’re ready to begin?  How many, raise your hands.  Ok, hands down.  Everybody else that’s over 30, show of hands, think back to when you were 17 or 18 and ready to graduate from high school.  Try and remember, how many of you had your life planned and mapped out and you knew exactly what you wanted to do with your life and you knew exactly how your life would be?  Education, career, future family, and anything else.  Be honest!  Show of hands.  Now, for all of you with your hands raised, how many of you would say that those high school plans panned out just like you had figured? Put your hands down if life has not worked out just like you had originally planned.

Seniors, remember that.  Parents, remember that when your child comes home and says they’re changing their major and they’ll have to stay in college another semester, another year.  Remember that when they come home and say “I’m getting married…next month!” 

When I was your age, my bags were packed for Meredith College where I was going to major in Biology and one day discover the cure for cancer.  Before that first semester was over I was going to also take photography so I could take pictures for textbooks that showed stuff under the microscope…and…cure cancer.  By the end of my freshman year, I was making plans to transfer to Chowan, major in Religion and plan my wedding.  When I was 33 I got “the call” and I was going to do what I needed to do to be a prison chaplain rejoicing that God had NOT called me to the pulpit where I’d have to PREACH!  We plan and God laughs and he still gets laughs with that one!  It took several more years, but now I preach twice each Sunday, two different pulpits!  You will make God laugh!  I promise!  And that’s OK!

Don’t be so married to your plans that you don’t leave room for LIFE!  Keep growing and learning.  You’ll learn new things about yourself. You’ll discover interests and talents that right now you don’t know you have.  Life is in a constant state of flux.  Does that mean not to make plans?  No!  Absolutely not!  Make plans but don’t set them in stone and sign them with blood!  Allow for life’s twists and turns, because they WILL happen!

That well-known quote-meister, the Apostle Paul, once wrote, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.  But when I became an adult, I set aside childish ways.”  Class of 2008, you are leaving your childhood behind and your adult years loom.  You’ve had people tell you that you are our future. Well, there’s something else you need to know, adult to adult.  You are our “right now”!  You always have been.  You don’t have to wait for some distant, magical time when you can, all of a sudden, matter in this world and make a difference.   Sometimes we older adults can get cynical and think one person doesn’t matter; one person can’t change the world.  Class of 2008, that’s so wrong!  You have the power and the ability to change the world, but first you have to CHOOSE to.  You have the choice of how to spend your time.  You choose whether to use your time constructively, destructively, or just waste it.  You choose whether to make someone’s day brighter, to lend a helping hand, to think beyond yourself, to be part of something bigger than yourself.  You choose!  And when you change just ONE person’s day for the better…you’ve changed the world.  You don’t know the ripple effect that will take place from one simple act of kindness.  You make a difference by being here.  YOU choose the kind of difference you’ll make.

I’m going to tell you something else, adult to adult.  You have a purpose in this world!  You weren’t put here because God had nothing better to do that day.  You’re here because God has a plan and you fit in it.  There are certain facts in this world and you can’t change them by simply saying I don’t believe and you can’t change facts because you may not like particular facts.  I’ve never understood why four plus four equals eight.  But it does.  Seems rather arbitrary to me.  Why can’t four plus four equal twenty-three?  I can go around saying I believe 4 + 4= 23 and I can live my life as if that’s true.  But I cannot change the fact that 4 + 4=8. 

No matter how you live your life and no matter what you may say you believe, you cannot change the fact of God’s existence and you cannot change the fact that he loves you, has a purpose for you, and wants to direct your steps and hear from you in prayer.

You are important!  Your life matters!  What you do with it now and in the future is important!  You graduate high school tomorrow and you will all be choosing different paths.  Some of you will go to college.  You may get a job.  You may get married.  You may join the military.  You may still not know what you want to do.  Look at the big picture; think with your brain and maybe sometimes your heart, but not with your hormones.  When you think you know all the answers, accept the fact that maybe you don’t and ask for help and wisdom.  Look at your parents.  They really do know a lot!  They really are in your corner!  They really do love you with every fiber of their being!  They really are so proud of you they burst every time they think of you!  They really don’t think they’re only here to annoy you.  They have devoted themselves to raising you and sacrificed to provide for you because they love you and want the best for you. 

As you take your place in the adult world, make them proud. Be honorable and honest, compassionate and polite, intelligent and disciplined.  Be adults.  Wear your seatbelts.  Pay your bills, live within your means, be responsible, take responsibility, don’t point the finger of blame.  Be an adult.  Don’t take your diploma tomorrow and rest on the laurels of that accomplishment.  Be an adult and move on to your next goal.

When I was your age I often asked permission to do things and sometimes my Mama would say, “No.” and my Daddy would say, “Bettie, we have to let her try her wings.”  I knew that meant I’d get to do what I wanted.  I never understood how hard those words were for my Daddy to say until I had children of my own.  It’s not always easy to watch you try your wings.  We, your parents, your grandparents, your teachers and Sunday school teachers, all those who have played a part in your life, know some of life’s lessons that you have yet to learn and we’ve tried to prepare you. 

The time has come for you to do more than just try your wings.  The time has come for you to fly!  Don’t just settle for “flying!”  SOAR!  Soar like eagles!  And when you look at us and you see a glimmer of tears in our eyes, know that they’re not tears of sadness.  They are tears that reflect the pride in our hearts.  The road hasn’t always been easy to get you to this point; there have been pebbles and maybe a few rocks.  But you will always be our children and we will always be here for you, encouraging your flight.  The flight won’t always be smooth; you will have times you swoop and times you dodge and times you have mid-air collisions.  Sometimes you’ll have to come in for a landing and re-evaluate your flight plan.  That’s OK.  We can let you take flight because we know the One who flies with you. 

You are each in different places on your spiritual journeys.  Some of you may have strong faith; some of you have doubts and questions; some of you have disbelief.  Wherever you are, God’s there and we place our trust and hope in Him. 

Soar.  Grow.  Dream.  Achieve.  And do it in abundance!  And may God hold you in the palm of His hand.  Amen.

Rev. Carol Taylor, Mom of James Mitchell Taylor, Class of 2008, Baccalaureate, May 29