Miracles

Ever say anything so deeply profound, for you, that you just have to repeat it elsewhere and you stand in awe of yourself and your fantastically amazing brain? Well, that's where I am now, basking in awe of...me. I often say things that leave the college-kid shaking his head. I can say things that make me really wish I had a huge roll of duck tape handy, after I pull my feet out of my mouth. I can preach a sermon that leaves me wondering, "Lord, where did that come from?"

Hmmmm....OK, maybe I better stop and remember the Source of where my amazingly astounding thoughts come from, because they sure don't originate in my brain!

So, what was this astute observation? I was writing an item to go with a song I was posting on the Melanoma Prayer Center, and I'm writing about miracles. This is the post:

Sometimes we want a miracle and let's face it, with melanoma, the miracle we want is to be cured from it and to rest assured that we'll live a long, healthy life free from it. We want a miracle of not dying before "we" say it's time. We can't call the shots of what our miracle looks like! We already ARE miracles! We already ARE surrounded by miracles! Maybe, the miracle is having faith even when we don't get the miracle we pray for.

"Maybe, the miracle is having faith even when we don't get the miracle we pray for." Did that come from me?! Solomon reminds us in Ecclesiastes that there's nothing new under the sun and I'm sure that's true. And I'm equally sure that plenty of other people have figured out that keeping the faith in the face of dire circumstances that keep getting worse and end in ways that we don't pray for is a miracle.  But, I never thought of it that way!

My feeble attempts at understanding stopped short. I stopped with "keeping the faith in the face of dire circumstances that are playing out in ways contrary to my prayers and wishes is...keeping the faith." That was the limit of my understanding until God moved and stretched my way of thinking.

Sometimes we do pray for a miracle. We need that miracle. We know exactly what that miracle must look like and we know we needed it yesterday. We can feel our faith losing ground but we're holding on to God because we're just so confidant that God's going to give us our way and that miracle will happen, even if it's at the very last second. So we hold on. Even as we see the chances of the miracle happening slip, fade, disappear altogether...gone forever. Dead. No miracle. Emptiness. Despair. No miracle. Holding on. To What? No miracle. To Who?

God. And maybe, that's the miracle. Holding on to God when we need Him most, sense Him the least, feel alone the most. Growing in our spiritual understanding that God, not us, is in control...even when we don't like the outcome and we feel our prayers were ignored and God didn't take our advice on how to behave.

God never gave me the task of being His personal Dear Abby. That's so ludicrous it's laughable! Job tried something like that and it didn't go over too well with God. He doesn't need our consent to act, our advice on how to behave, or our directions on how to move in our lives.

Maybe the miracle is, despite all that, we trust Him anyway. He is everything I am not...

And I am grateful.

Today would have been my Granddaddy's 108th birthday! Hope you and Grandma celebrate with a grand train ride around Heaven!

Melalessons

It has been a while since I posted because I've been focused on other things, but those others things have reminded me of how much I have to be grateful for. They have also served to show me some of the lessons I've been learning since being diagnosed stage 3b melanoma in late 2008.

My Melalessons:
1.  What good is a clean house if you can't live in it? I've learned priorities are often upside down. We care more about our stuff than our people.

2.  Time can be either your friend or your enemy. It's always better to have friends and you can never have too many, so embrace the time of today. That's the only time you can be sure of.

3.  That said, don't spend your time in a state of panic or fear, even if you have something to panic about or be scared of.

4.  Take a bite out of that which seeks to take a bite out of you, thereby taking the sting out and bringing purpose to your troubles. That's why I write and administrate Melanoma Prayer Center and do what I can to advocate for melanoma research, write against tanning beds (they should be burned), and do what I can to educate sun-worshipers.

5. Don't sweat the small stuff. Not sure what the "small stuff" is in your life? What's the stuff that rankles your last nerve and sets you to hollering at the ones you love? You've probably identified "small stuff," the stuff that, at the end of the day doesn't matter at all and you've forgotten all about it...or will after a good night's sleep. If you've got to sweat something, sweat the big stuff.

6.  Keep working on your relationships, especially your relationship with God. That's the one that matters most. Don't neglect it.

7.  Be grateful. Don't think you have anything to be grateful for? Look around you. Still can't find anything? Go back to bed, you're just not trying.  Do the world a favor and take a nap and try again.

8.  Instead of making mountains out of molehills, give your mountains to God and let Him transform them into molehills.

9.  Be sun smart not stupid. Dead ain't sexy. Spread the word. A lot of people need to hear what you have to say...never stop being an advocate. Remember, take a bite out of melanoma.

Life is good. It's a blessing. Even when there are storms in life...those gray clouds hold silver linings...

And I am grateful. 

I'm Not A Metallic Tree!

When I was a child, I acted like, well, a child. Especially when it came to getting my finger pricked, which happened more often than I care to think about because my Mama was absolutely determined I was anemic. (I wasn't anemic. I was lazy. Big difference!).  Luckily, my Daddy's dental office was right down the sidewalk from the Dr.'s office.  I remember one time, in particular, I was being extremely difficult and literally both drs and a few nurses were trying to hold me still to prick my finger and they had to call my Daddy to come help hold me down.  Those of you who still have nightmares of those big pointed lancets they used and equally big nurses that were rough, will shudder with your own memories and identify with what I'm talking about.

To put it mildly, I've never liked medical procedures. Dental were fine, but "medical"...well, no!   Fast forward to late 1999.  Car accident, RSD sets into my hand with the doubly broken thumb, and I have to have a nerve block for the pain.  I don't have a clue what that procedure is like today but then it involved IVs in both hands and a long, blue tourniquet that covered the affected arm that needed the block.  I had to have it, the only other option was one I didn't like, so I got all adult and told the anesthesiologist to just do what he had to do and not tell me about it.  If he needed me to do something then tell me only that much. I explained to him what a big baby I was and we'd both fare much better through this if he took my advice on how to deal with me.

To make a long nerve block short, I took all the stuff he had to pump into me and took it in a way that made it vital for him to leave all tourniquet settings alone and not ease up.  Up until that point, he had never had a patient take all the medicine nor had one that didn't need their tourniquet adjusted, and he had done thousands of nerve blocks he said,  And here, big baby me was doing both firsts!  And because I took it all and did great, I've never needed another nerve block and I should have had up to 5 more.

Before he left me that day he said and I'll never forget it, "You know, you talk like you're a baby. But you're not. You're tough as nails."

Those thuds you hear across America are people who know me fainting at the thought of me being tough as nails!  Daddy, pick Mama up from the floor!

Being Southern and having seen "Steel Magnolias," that became my nickname for me.  I'm a steel magnolia!  Yessirreee buddy-bobby-boy!  Being a metallic tree came in very handy when in 2008 I was diagnosed with melanoma...in the same arm with the RSD no less!  Is God good or what?!  (I mean that!  That's a huge blessing!)

And now, here in 2011, I'm having an identity crisis of monumental proportions! I find I'm not a metallic tree after all. I find I haven't been around the block as many times as I thought I had. I'm not tough as nails, I'm as pliable as a small paper clip.  At least when it comes to other people.

I'm finally getting involved with melanoma awareness.  I write and administrate the Melanoma Prayer Center on Facebook (which you can click on the link and read everything there without being on FB. I particularly suggest scanning through the several pages of "notes.") 
http://www.facebook.com/MelanomaPrayerCenter

I'm meeting people, hearing stories...real life stories, of people in their teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, ages far too young to be touched by this horrible, highly preventable, highly treatable when caught early enough, and highly deadly when not caught early enough, disease.  They're touching my life and melting my heart.  They're pulling back the steel and revealing "heart."  They're uprooting the tree and planting "soul."  They're showing me I was right all along about who I am.  But the anesthesiologist was right too.  I am both.

May is Melanoma Awareness Month.  All May, every May.  I leave you with this marvelous video called "Dear 16-year-old Me." You'll see other people who are tough yet teary. Driven yet compassionate. Learn from them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4jgUcxMezM&feature=share

This is what every one of us with melanoma in our lives wants to tell you.  These warriors did.

And I am grateful!

Walking Miracles!

Yesterday, as I write, I was at a local Relay For Life event. As a current melanoma patient, it's always inspiring to see the Survivors take their grand lap to kick off the festivities.  Although this was a county that I'm fairly new to, I did know some of the people there as well as a few that proudly strutted their stuff in that lap around the track.

There's this one woman though that I want to lift up. I've known her for almost a year now. I know she has health problems, severe ones, but I didn't know she's a cancer survivor. None of her current issues are cancer related.  So I asked her after her victory lap about her cancer.  Keep in mind she's 81 years old.

Fifty-six years ago, when she was 25 years old, she had ovarian cancer and both her ovaries were, of course, removed. She didn't mention any other treatment, and to be honest, 56 years ago I don't know what else they could have done other than remove her ovaries, send her home, and hope for the best.

The best is apparently what she got! The hope it gives to know she has lived 56 years...FIFTY-SIX YEARS...following ovarian cancer surgery is absolutely an amazingly astounding miracle in my book!  One worth sharing.

No matter what I face, what you face, find hope in my friend.  She's one of the most upbeat ladies you'd ever meet, a sweet spirit, strong in her faith, spunky little thing who does what she wants as best she can with her walking stick and oxygen-waiting-for-her-at-home. Her heart operates at 30% capacity and she's always freezing cold. There are a few other ladies in this little country church who are also amazing.

As a matter of fact, look around and you'll see amazing people with their own amazing stories of hope, courage, and faith everywhere!

And I am grateful!

O Worship the Sun!

One of my first "Notes" on the Melanoma Prayer Center Facebook page I administrate was this. To reach a broader audience I re-post it here. Another Public Service Announcement if you will.

I will be grateful if you read it.  I will be even more grateful if you take it seriously, make any necessary lifestyle changes, and use it to educate others on being sun-smart and tanning bed smart.

O Worship the Sun!

by Melanoma Prayer Center on Saturday, April 2, 2011 at 10:25am

Go ahead.  Lay down on the altar of sand.  If you're feeling really self-sacrificing (because you ARE sacrificing yourself!) lay down on the altar of a tanning bed in the Church of Tanning Salon.

Many today talk about how we worship our stuff and how consumerism and me-ism are quickly replacing God in our hearts and lives.  That kind of worship, while indeed spiritually deadly, won't physically kill you.  I'm concerned that we overlook the other god so many serve, because we "joke" about sun worship.

Many want to look youthful and healthy and think a sunny, bronze glow accomplishes that and if we can get a good burn then that gives us a good story to tell of our dedication to looking healthy and young.  Never mind that all that sun leaves skin feeling leathery and will look 70 when it's actually 30, leather is expensive by golly!  There's a price to pay for expensive commodities.  You just won't realize the full price you're paying till it's too late.  You're borrowing on bad credit and the creditor will come looking for you.

If you're one of these people who love the look of the sun, whether fake from a tanning bed, or real from old Sol, while you're making that tanning bed appointment, make one with a dermatologist.  While you're buying that new bikini or other sunning attire, go ahead and buy a cemetery plot.  Got the number of the tanning salon?  Get the number of a good mortician, your family will need it.

Instead of worshiping the created, try worshiping the Creator.  He warns us over and over in His Word how deadly worshiping false gods is and he warns of dire consequences when we succumb to temptation, buy the good sounding lies, and sacrifice to idols.

God hates human sacrifice, the sun doesn't.  God tells us the truth, tanning beds are idols that can't speak but still kill.  Melanoma is no joke, no laughing matter.

Some of you reading this have melanoma or know someone who does and you know what I'm talking about.  We have the scars to prove it.  Some reading this will go right outside, in the heat of the day, without any sunblock, get browned by the sun and think they look gorgeous and the sun is their friend.  Melanoma happens to other people; older people, Caucasian people, people who've gotten blistered many times with lots of moles.

Newsflash: melanoma happens to people who have skin and it doesn't care what nationality or ethnicity that skin is or how old it is.  As a matter of fact, it's showing a growing preference for young skin!  Skin that's in its teens years, its twenties and thirties.

This is one cancer that is highly treatable when caught early and highly deadly when it isn't.  It has no standard mode of operation because it acts differently in everybody. But it will, usually, show itself first in skin or a mole.  Keep a vigilant check on yours and let a dermatologist who specializes in melanoma help you.

If you choose to take your chances on the sun and/or tanning bed, go ahead, get that glow.  While you're at it, accessorize that tan with a beautiful casket.  Go ahead and pick out a nice one.  You'll want to be the best looking, youngest looking, healthiest looking corpse around.

O God!  Wake people up!  Smarten us up!  Today God, today, people who worshiped the sun will die because they smartened up too late.  People will be diagnosed and be plunged into a world they never knew existed.  People will prepare for procedures, tests, surgeries and so many could have been prevented if they had just known.  Had just listened.  Had just believed melanoma really could happen to them.  Today, God, use this note, use me, to help spare someone melanoma.  Lord, in your mercy!  Amen.

(If you're still reading, yes this is harsh, but those of us with melanoma are frustrated that people look at us and just don't get it!  We want to help you learn our lesson before you walk in our shoes.  Trust us, you really, really don't want to try and fill our shoes!)

Raindrops On Roses

These are a few of my favorite things:

Dr. Seuss and The Cat in The Hat; actually, everything Seuss!  Love him!
Dogs.
Red. Red cars, red shoes, red dresses & shirts. Red hair (which, God, I don't have).  I like all things "red" except rashes and measles.
Soft curls.  On my granddaughter's head.  Just like her Mama had and her Unc had.  Love baby curls!
Frost on the ground and tea in my cup.
Snow and hot chocolate.
Top of the morning and coffee, every day. Never gets too hot for fresh perked, strong black coffee. God IS good!
Planning a worship service and picking hymns.
Bursting into song!  Don't like it? Don't listen.  Songs are meant to be sung...anywhere!  Yes, that is a warning!
Wonderful smells. Florist shops and bakeries. Hard to beat fresh flowers and aromas from the kitchen!
Rainy days and stormy nights.
Disney movies. Still love the Lion King and Mary Poppins.
Musicals.  Can we sing "Oklahoma" and "Grease" and "Hair" and "Saturday Night Fever"?!
Disco!!!!!  Seventies music!!!!! 
Still have warm spots in my heart for Donny & Jay Osmond, David Cassidy, Tiger Beat & 16 & Fave magazines!  I wall-papered my hot-pink walls in pictures of those guys from those magazines.
My parents actually LETTING me have hot-pink walls!
My parents actually letting me having Osmond and Cassidy wall-paper!  (Who knew?)
Memories!
Health and LIFE!  Big on Life!
Family: hubby of 31 years, daughter & her hubby & their little girl, son in college, Madre & Padre, brother and his two sons, aunts & uncles & cousins. Oh my!
God. saving the best for last. Without him the rest just isn't possible.
This list, obviously, isn't exhaustive.  Many more favorite things to mention. But if I did, all of cyberspace couldn't hold it.

Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining and Mine's In Cyberspace!

Who knew that when I started down Melanoma Road back in July 2008 that I'd wind up zooming through cyberspace riding the coattail of a mole?!

A lot of doors have recently opened up due to this time of my life that I'm extremely grateful for!  For one, God has graciously given me back the opportunity to write, which is something I've always enjoyed.  (I don't write my sermons unless they're for a wedding, funeral, or class).  I've missed taking keyboard in hand and typing to my little heart's content.  Now, with two weekly blogs and the Melanoma Prayer Center on Facebook, I write whether anything gets read or not.

I've noticed that much of what I write lately has to do with melanoma, except for my "Say That Again, Jesus" blog.  I feel a strong urge, nay, duty, to get as much info and support as I can out there for people and their families who are fighting the beast, will fight the beast, or have fought the beast and either beat it or fought the good fight against it.

To that end I'm grateful for cyberspace: I'm grateful to Google for providing free blog space and to Facebook for providing free space for the Melanoma Prayer Center (and for allowing people to access it and read what's there without belonging on FB).  I'm grateful for the communication capacity provided by each host and for my email accounts.  I'm grateful that the Information Highway has a an off-ramp for the Melanoma Research Foundation.

In case you need it, be thee a patient or care-giver, the MRF has a wonderful community section on their website where you can register and post questions and issues surrounding melanoma.  You'll meet some of the most wonderful, knowledgeable fellow journey-people there and get quick responses that will help you know that you're not alone and give you guidance to help with decisions.

Thanks to all of these cyber-opportunities, I've met people from France, Germany, Canada, Argentina, and all around the USA.  Folks I would not normally have had the chance to interact with.  They are the ones who inspired the MPC and keep me inspired as I write prayers and notes as a resource for them.

Sometimes the Internet can get a bum-rap because of all the seedy stuff and downright nasty sites that are out there, but the Internet is a tool.  It can be used for good or for bad.  It's up to each of us how we use it.  I, for one, appreciate the opportunities it affords me to spread the word about melanoma.  It also gives me, and others, a platform to warn people of the absolute dangers of the sun and tanning beds.  It gives me a chance to be a voice in the wilderness.

It has provided yet another avenue for something good to come from my stubbornness and stupidity that resulted in melanoma (you can find that story here:
http://letsgivethanks.blogspot.com/2010/12/big-c-is-not-candy.html).

If God uses any of what he allows me to write to help even one person that reads something I write, no matter where in the world they are...

Then I am grateful!